In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we're making bets on your personal life
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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