My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
