Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
