I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
