Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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