So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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