Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
