so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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