Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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