I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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