some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
