I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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