Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
