I should be sponsored by Trojan
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
