I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
