I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
