: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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