I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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