Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
