I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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