Kiss
Puke
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
