Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
did i just pee glitter
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
