How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
