I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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