Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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