So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
