Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
