Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
