no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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