this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
