it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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