Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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