So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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