just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
