don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
