great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
