I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
