I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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