Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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