what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
