Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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