saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
