Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
