went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Randomize
