Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
