Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have tasted many bathrooms
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
