the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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