Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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