you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Randomize
