I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
